Don’t Assume I’m Like You
There is a special form of rudeness that I’ve encountered so often lately that I want to give up on the human race. Several people in the last few days have assumed that it’s ok to make certain comments around me, comments that are dismissive of other groups or types of people, because I’m not obviously one of them.
Consider this a public service announcement, folks: you never know to whom you are talking.
Don’t assume that because I’m successful, my parents never divorced. Don’t assume that because I’m progressive, I’m also vegetarian. Don’t assume that because I’m a professional, I don’t like homemaking. Don’t assume that because I dress conservatively, I disapprove of clothing you think is “skanky.” Don’t assume that because I’m married, I like children. Don’t assume that because I have a Ph.D., I look down on people who didn’t finish high school. Don’t assume that because I criticize a country, I don’t love it. Don’t assume that because I look a certain way, everyone in my family looks that way. Don’t assume that because I work with you, I like you. Don’t assume that because I’m straight, I don’t know (and love) any gay/bi/trans people. Don’t assume that because I’m quiet, I have nothing to say. Don’t assume that because I go to your church, I agree with your politics. Don’t assume that because I’m a feminist, I look down on housewives. Don’t assume that because I knit, I want to make something for you. Don’t assume that because I’m cute, I’m not strong. Don’t assume that because I act unashamed of something, you can comment on it. Don’t assume that because I’m related to you, I agree with you. Don’t assume that because I’m smiling, I’m not angry. Don’t assume that because something is in a predicate in this paragrah, it’s true.
And most importantly, don’t assume that if I look like you, I am like you.
August 6th, 2003 at 12:58 am
I won’t assume you’re angry and peevish
no matter how much evidence you offer
August 6th, 2003 at 4:12 pm
That’s probably wise, random poster. Or else you would be just like everyone else she’s talking about. Jumpin’ to conclusions and all.
You don’t have to be angry to observe the volume of assuming and conclusion jumping that we all run into (and engage in ourselves) on a daily basis. In fact, it’s hard to avoid no matter what mood you’re in, if you’re paying any attention at all.
I don’t detect a lot of anger in that post, just a commentary on its tiresome pervasiveness.
August 7th, 2003 at 3:03 pm
I’ve said this myself over & over again. People just assume you have the same attitudes, opinions, and outlook… Generally people assume this if they’re of the belief that their opinion is the only “correct” one. Like people who say “That movie was bad.” when in fact, they just didn’t like it, and plenty did.
At the same time, I try not to assume people are going to realize that I might be someone who disagrees with them. I get a lot less aggravated with them that way.
As for that anonymous commenter… That person sounds angry & peevish. haha. You sound irritated. And if you have to put up, on a regular basis, with people who make prejudiced or snobbish remarks… you’ve got your hands full trying to remain serene!
August 10th, 2003 at 11:08 pm
this is wonderful and I want to copy it and share it with my friends…!!
Suzzane