A few years back, I read Kim Stanley Robinson’s Science in the Capital series, and I continually scoffed at the character of Phil Chase, an idealistic senator who ultimately wins the presidency during a worldwide ecological crisis. I kept thinking how nice it would be to have a president like that — a smart guy with a vision — and the further into the series I read, the more depressed I became. I kept thinking “There’s no way Americans would elect a president like that, and even if they did, a person like that wouldn’t want the job.”

I’m afraid to hope that I was wrong, and that Obama might be that person, and that he might actually win this election. I have been horrified by the Bush presidency, but that doesn’t mean I’ve loved our democratic presidents. Clinton disappointed me terribly — among many other things, he broke my heart with TANF.

But the more I listen to Obama’s plans, look at the way his campaign has been run, read the polls and (more importantly) read analysis of those polls the more I feel this thing in my chest with feathers. Is this what hope feels like?