I keep finding myself in the odd position of defending Sarah Palin. It’s baffling. Not only do the few policy positions she has articulated appall me (even in — and perhaps especially in — her area of expertise, energy policy), but her hate-based, racist, untruthful and vacuous attacks on Obama disgust me. This is America at its very, very worst.

But she’s still a woman in a male-dominated field, and I guess that’s where I find myself feeling some kinship with her, even though I suspect she would feel little with me. I keep hearing comments about how great it is that she doesn’t dress like most female politicians, eschewing pantsuits and solid reds and pinks — to which I respond that it would be really great if we would stop talking the clothes of female politicians. I also hear comments that it’s disrespectful of her to refer to her opponents as Joe and Barak, when they go out of their way to refer to her as governor — to which I respond that she’s got to demonstrate that she’s at their level, that she’s part of their club.

Those are the kind of small battles that I fight every day. When I’m introduced as FirstName (no last name and no title) to someone of equal age and rank who happens to be of the opposite sex who is introduced to me as Dr. LastName, I have to find a way to politely work a comment like “what field is your doctorate in? mine is in sociology” into the conversation without looking like an ass or a moron so that this new network tie knows I am like him. It’s embarrassing, but it’s the only way I can avoid later being asked to take notes, fetch water or operate the projection equipment. When informal hallway conversations during review time focus on the “intuitive understanding” of our female staff and the “intelligence” of our male staff, I have to find some way to make sure that the women get credit for their brains as well as their empathy without looking like a crazy feminist. And don’t get me started on the nuances of what “business casual” or “causal Friday” mean for a woman’s wardrobe (and bank balance), nuances that men do not face.

I don’t like Sarah Palin and I desperately hope that recent polls are correct, that Obama is gaining ground over McCain. But I respect what she’s accomplished. As I said above, I suspect that she would not respect childless-by-choice-progressive-pro-choice-feminist me. Because of that, I really, really wish I could stop defending her, but I find that I just can’t.